Body

Father, thank you for this body you’ve given me. I know that sometimes I might be unappreciative of it, today I wanted to take the time to say thank you.

Body,
You have been with me since I entered this earth. I could say that I loved you by default, but it would be a lie.
I’ve grown to love you, and every season, with every change, I grow still.
First, I did not know what loving you meant.
I accepted you the way you came until the world showed me that you were not enough.
You could always be lighter both in tone and in weight. You could be taller, your hairs could be longer on the top and sparser or non existent on the bottom and in the crooks and cranices.
It took me some time to see you in your imperfect glory.
To appreciate all that you are and are capable of.
I want to say thank you to you. For serving me thus far.
Thank you immune system, you protect me against all the infections. You got me through covid. You only got infected once and you fought hard to keep my lungs dry and compliant and you did it! I got a blissful week off and I was back to being my silly self.
Thank you legs, for walking around the hospital everyday, climbing ten flight of stairs multiple times a day, fast walking to codes, walking in the snow and rain and sun and getting me where I need to be. Thank you for the long hours you’ve spent standing in the kitchen on my days off, so I can enjoy my slow process of preparing delicious meals.
Thank you arms, for how strong you are. You hold up my phone a lot! You listen while I tell you to box the bag in the gym—I know you love it… Thank you for typing this note and all the notes at the hospital and all the stories I write and I’m not quite ready to share. Thank you for tickling B to get him to laugh and for holding him tight everyday after work. Thank you for all the hugs you’ve given to everyone who has loved me and I’ve loved in return.
Thank you ears for hearing codes, breath sounds, heart sounds and the sweet words B tells me. For the opportunity to listen to my favorite songs over and over again! Thank you eyes for the privilege of sight. I love looking at the blue sky and green leaves with you during summer; and the grey clouds and powder white snow during winter. I especially love to read stories with you every chance I get and to admire memories in form of pictures on my phone long after experiencing them.
Thank you bum, because you are big and round and unapologetic.
Breasts, one day you will give sustenance to my kiddos, but for now, honestly, thank you for mostly been light as a feather so I don’t have to think twice about you when I am boxing or hiking or riding my bike. I love you just the way you are.
Thank you hair, you are black and curly as ever. You are resilient and unapologetic and proud and stubborn. I’m constantly catching up to you. You teach me how to love and accept and be fully in love with the mess.
Thank you grey hairs, you are new and uncomfortable. I didn’t think I’ll meet you quite so soon, but you are evidence of my journey. I love you, because you show how resilient I am. You carry the story of my experience on earth as well as the experience of my ancestors. Thank you for teaching me about growth, and thank you for understanding that I can appreciate you and be proud of you and be not quite ready to fully rock you in your glory, I know, it’s complicated.
Thank you lips. Do you remember the time that boy in primary school called you fat? I almost believed him. But I chose to see you as soft and full and delicious. That’s what B says, he sees what I see.
And thank you breath, for complying when I brush my teeth and remaining fresh after a long day. Thank you uterus, for the wonder you will perform when I am ready to carry my offspring and birth them into this beautiful puzzling life, until then, try to be quiet.
Dear body, I love your vitality and vulnerability. I know what a toll residency has had on you. I know how hard you work to keep me on this earth and how much it takes to just be. I’ve learnt about and seen all the ways a body could fail in medical school and now residency, and yet here you are thriving.
You listen when I tell you it’s time to move and reward me with endorphins.
Thank you for housing my beautiful immortal spirit.
Thank you for adapting to my habits. There’s still so much that I’m yet to learn about you and all the ways you can heal and grow.
You’ve given me the opportunity to live this adventurous life on this vast earth and even though I don’t say it everyday, I am grateful to you ♥️